A personal journey with Rise Brighton
I’ve never spoken about this publicly before, but I am a domestic abuse survivor. For a long time, I felt embarrassed that someone who prided herself on being a strong woman could be trapped in such a deeply manipulative and abusive relationship, one that eventually left me feeling broken, confused and powerless. That is, until I reached out to RISE.
At the time, domestic abuse wasn’t as widely spoken about. There were no viral TikTok videos educating people on coercive control or helping victims recognise warning signs. But despite that, deep down, I knew something wasn’t right. I was with a man who constantly belittled me, controlled my movements and gradually chipped away at my confidence until I barely recognised myself any more.
Why did I stay? Because in between the cruelty came moments where he would worship me and make me feel like I was the only girl in the world, during those times, I convinced myself that if I could somehow be better, I could get us back to that place permanently.
Looking back now, I can admit I became addicted to the emotional highs and lows of the relationship, constantly chasing those golden moments and believing things would eventually change.
My personal life and career both began to suffer. I lived in a constant state of anxiety and would panic if he called and I didn’t answer within seconds, terrified I’d be accused of wrongdoing. And while I fought back, ending the relationship repeatedly, somehow I always found myself returning, even when I desperately wanted to stay away. At the time, I couldn’t understand why.
A friend eventually told me about RISE, so I reached out for help. They were incredible. I attended a support workshop with other domestic abuse survivors where, for the first time, I learned what a trauma bond was and finally understood why leaving had felt so impossible.
Thanks to RISE, I eventually found the strength to leave and begin rebuilding my life. I will always be grateful for the support they gave me.
It’s a common misconception that abusive or controlling partners only target people who appear vulnerable. In reality, many abusive men are drawn to strong, independent, capable women precisely because those qualities can be appealing to someone who seeks control.
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