Valentine’s Day, for some it can be a stab in the heart and a stark reminder of your single status. You haven’t met the love of your life, and your social media feeds are evidence that you are in fact, the last sad singleton in the world.
Scrolling past endless images of plump red roses and hand holding photos across restaurant tables accompanied with gushy captions – boy did good! – #blessed…
#argghhh! You feel like crap, right?
Take a deep breath, because contrary to popular belief being single is not a life threatening illness. It is possible to really enjoy life on your own terms, sans the infinite compromises a relationship can present. Doing what you want, when you want and having your own space is highly underrated. As is control over the remote, sleeping in a star shape minus the farty/snory backing track and a toilet seat that is permanently down (or up).
Another reason to be cheerful is Galentine’s Day. Traditionally celebrated the day before V-Day, this occasion of single solidarity is the perfect way to express loving sentiments towards your friends, letting them know how valued they are regardless of relationship status.
Many in the UK have hijacked Galentine’s Day choosing to celebrate it on the 14th of February instead as an antidote to feeling isolated as an unattached person. People go out on mate dates and have a jolly old time together instead of sitting indoors sobbing into a tub of Haagen-Daz in giant pants Bridget Jones style. (Cue Celine Dion…)
Another way to relinquish those singles blues is to change your mindset. There is a growing trend that leans towards de-centering relationships entirely. This isn’t anti-relationship idealism, more it focuses on being whole by yourself and not letting the notion of finding your ‘other half’ blinker you to all of the wonders life alone can bring.
We spoke to relationship columnist, TEDx speaker and life coach Ali Hendry about dipping your toes into this new way of being, who advised, ‘Make the distinction between solitude and loneliness. Both are valid feelings. Solitude supports us in processing emotions, getting to know ourselves and our default reactions, and providing a place for rest and restore. Loneliness can feel incredibly hard, and yet there are physical, emotional and spiritual things we can do to build up resilience on accepting being in this ‘aloneness’ space’ she also recommends some reading to help you explore your oneness, ‘There are some brilliant resources out there for solos. For example, The Unexpected Joy of Being Single by Catherine Gray. Finding your community also helps you feel seen and supported.’
@alihendrycoaching (20% discount off coaching sessions if you quote ‘DISCOVER BRIGHTON’)
