My Funny Valentine

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The path of true love doesn’t always run smoothly does it? We chatted to you, our readers to find out your funniest, cringiest Valentine’s stories and weren’t disappointed with the response. Read on to be amused… 

Riding High 

‘We were going to Alton Towers to stay over for V Day and I forgot to pack any clean pants, so quickly stopped off on the way and grabbed some from the supermarket. Our relationship was still in the impress stage. I usually wear fitted boxers, so imagine my horror when I realised I’d bought briefs and I mean these were tiny and I’m not a small man. There was nothing I could do except wear them. Luckily she saw the funny side but I spent the weekend riding roller coasters wearing what felt like a thong as those pants liked to do some riding of their own.’  

Once a Cheater 

‘I once went on a valentine’s date with a guy who told me had cheated on me. He then went on to explain how women are less likely to get jobs in certain fields and in doing so poked me in the eye. I paid the whole bill and left.’ (Power move) 

Run Like the Wind 

‘I had a date with this guy who took me to a bar in George street Hove for a meal. Then when it was time to pay he said he was going to the loo. Then he phoned me and said I’m outside if you come now we can get away without paying. I was mortified,  paid the bill and then dodged him on my way out and ran for the bus!’ 

F You 

‘I went on a date which lasted precisely 23 minutes, around 22 minutes too long. It’s also the only blind date I have ever gone on. We met in a pub in London, having been set up by quite sensible people…and just took an instant dislike to each other. We tried to drink and chat but it was so apparent we just wanted to escape each other. Having not even pestered my drink much, I said, “This is not happening for me, sorry” and he said “You are certainly not happening for me”. We headed for the exit. He asked which way I was going to which I replied, “Whichever way you’re not.” In a split second he turned left and left. And I turned right and right on home!

Steven Graham
Author: Steven Graham

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